- OPIE, a loquacious 3-year-old
- NONNIE, his great-grandmother
- GRAMMY, his grandmother
- PAUL, Grammy's gentleman friend
I. Wednesday afternoon. GRAMMY has taken OPIE to visit her workplace and is introducing him to her co-workers.
GRAMMY: This is Paul. He always helps me put your car seat in my car.
OPIE (suspiciously): That's not the Paul that belongs to you.
II. Thursday morning, NONNIE's living room.
NONNIE: Opie, come here and give me a kiss.
OPIE: I can't. I haven't shaved yet.
III. Friday morning, NONNIE's kitchen. She opens the newspaper to the obituary pages.
NONNIE: Anyone dead from around here?
PAUL (not missing a beat): Not from [this town]. I already checked.