Thursday, June 08, 2006

Compare and contrast

MayberryNY Metro
Grocery cashiersCheck my eggs every time. Upon finding a broken one, cheerfully call for someone in the dairy department to bring a replacement carton to the register. When thanked, respond brightly, “Just doing my job!” These are 16-year-old boys, not some middle-aged person who’s decided to make a career out of working the register at PikNSave (motto: “We’re picky, you save”).Act as if they are doing me a huge favor by ringing up my order and taking my money. When encountering a jar of artichoke hearts, make disgusted face and exclaim, “Ewwwww! Those are really hearts?!”
Leaving the car running while you dash into a storeCommonplace (when it’s sub-zero and you’ve warmed up the car, you don’t want to have to start over again a few minutes later)Not recommended
Rush hourHappens from about 7 to 7:30 a.m. and 4 to 4:30 p.m.; barely discernible from so-called “traffic” occurring at other times of dayLasts for 3-4 hours every morning and evening; trips of a few miles take an hour or longer; causes rampant gray hairs and cursing
Manicures, pedicures, and waxesExpensive indulgenceAffordable necessity
Dinner time5:30 p.m.8:00 p.m.
Starbucks penetrationSpotty. I think there’s one out by the mall.Total. Can always find one within a 2-block radius.
Real estate. Have $250,000 to spend?A lovely home with 3 to 4 bedrooms, at least 2500 square feet, and plenty of outdoor space.If you’re very lucky, a studio apartment in the city ... with 250 square feet. In the burbs, a teensy ranch on the wrong side of the tracks.
Medical careAll about the bedside manner. I’ve bumped into our friendly family practice doc at restaurants, the pool, the Y, and the grocery store.The technology may be the latest, but my doctors didn’t recognize me or my kid unless we were within sneezing distance of our charts.
WildlifeAside from the usual squirrels, chipmunks, robins, sparrows, etc., lots of rabbits, ducks, geese, and the occasional fox (seriously—a block from my house). And the best news: no pigeons. Damn things used to hang out in the airshaft outside my bedroom window chrrrr-chrrrrr-chrrrring right in my ear.Rats (winged and sewer-sized); waterbugs


bubandpie said...

Wow - you know the HTML tags needed to create charts! I'm so impressed. Love the contrasts between NYC and Mayberry. Much the same dynamic pertains to the Toronto vs. my-town distinction. I'm stubbornly sticking it out here, despite the lack of employment opportunities, because I'm just so resistent to getting caught up on the big-city treadmill, working 70-hour weeks at a high-paying job in order to commute an hour each way to costly suburban dwelling...not for me.

mothergoosemouse said...

NY metro - you are spot on. Especially regarding the real estate and wildlife.

Amy (binkytown) said...

I'm in the midwest- not only do I leave my car running in subzero weather- my purse is usually sitting open in the passenger seat.. its brilliant!~

Mayberry said...

B&P--I'm very proud of my chart, but you know you can find everything on the internet!! Your reason for staying is exactly our reason for moving here.

Mrs. Wheezer said...

Love it! I looked into working in big cities, but am glad to be where I am. How bad am I? I still listen to Dallas radio in the mornings and laugh at the traffic reports. The only thing I slow down for is school zones.

me said...

exactly why i tell my brothers and sisters ...i would never want to raise my kids anywhere else. it's a little boring sometimes, but i laugh at them when they come to visit and lock their cars in my driveway...i have yet to take the keys out of my car.