1. I am the automatic dishwasher; thou shalt not have any other gods before me, and believe that a five-second spin under the faucet is my equal.
2. Thou shalt not take the name of the dishwasher in vain, and curse it for not unloading itself.
3. Remember the dishwasher and keep it holy; thou shalt not run it during the dinner hour.
4. Honor thy father and thy mother, and learn to place your dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and not under the couch.
5. Thou shalt not kill your meltable objects by placing them in the lower rack.
6. Thou shalt not cheat by running the dishwasher when it is not full.
7. Thou shalt not steal space through inefficient loading.
8. Thou shalt not bear false witness by claiming disposable items are meant to be washed and reused. And that includes 100-to-a-box drinking straws.
9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, if it has two dishwashers instead of one.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, who unloads the dishwasher in a more timely manner.
This post may possibly have been inspired by the people in this house with whom I share a dishwasher. Maybe.