Putting the T in "Trashy"

Our local paper (also the source of these other gems) ran a story the other day that went something like this: Girl, 17, wants to marry boyfriend, 29. Her parents say OK, as long as you wait until you turn 18. Family plans wedding, to be held a few days after girl's 18th birthday. Boyfriend announces he does not want to get a marriage license, but still wants to get married. Bride's parents explain this isn't legal. Groom relents, goes to courthouse to get license, then refuses to divulge social security number. He is turned away without license. Bride's parents insist that the wedding can't take place without the license. Bride and groom return to courthouse, where groom again refuses to reveal social security number because it's "against his convictions." They leave without a license and go to their reception site, where groom's father performs a (totally bogus) ceremony and pronounces them busband and wife. Bride breaks off contact with her parents and takes out a restraining order against them; they've now been estranged for 18 months. Groom and groom's father charged with "false solemnization of marriage."

I think the only way this could be more depressing is if there were kids involved (thankfully, there's no mention of that in the article) or if after the toasts at the reception all the guests started clubbing baby seals. Did I mention this was on the front page? I guess there was just nothing else to report.