Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I would like a human head

If I had a dollar for every time I put money into an automatic carwash and drove away with a still-dirty car, I'd have at least $5. Which I would probably then be dumb enough to feed into yet another automatic carwash.

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The title is inspired by Suebob. A long time ago my brother saw a celebrity interview in which the celeb quoted a child of his acquaintance (details remain fuzzy) who, when asked what he wanted for his birthday, replied: "I would like a human head." Thenceforth my siblings and I always answer the question "What do you want?" with "I would like ... a human head." (This is another occasion in which sound would be useful; because there is a very particular inflection that must be used when repeating this line.) Does your family have any taglines of its own?

20 comments:

Summer said...

We've got tons of family taglines, many of them snitched from The Simpsons, but I think my current favorite is a creation of my husband's... he has deemed us (and, perhaps, all of humanity) to be "Superior Monkeys."

The boy's been busy creating taglines of his own. He's got his whole school saying "I'm not happy," which looks rather blah in print. You need the inflection, and the context. It was what he kept saying on the first day of school, after he mashed his face up. A bleeding child, taking a break from his wails to state "I'm not happy" -- what's not funny about that?

Julie Pippert said...

Oh but really, on those horrid long days...the carwash is such a kid fixer-upper especially if I get the rainbow wax.

I hold the event ahead of us like a special treat.

The book you reviewed below?

I think people most likely to read it are the ones who already have most of that figured out. I think cheap copies for distribution sound great.

Mona said...

Could I have your family's tagline? Mine pale in comparison.

mothergoosemouse said...

"No _____ for you. You come back one year." Applies to any situation.

I do like the human head business.

Magpie said...

No aimless archeology. I'd go anywhere, I'd go to a dogfight. Those are two family taglines that spring to mind. I like the human head one though...

scribbit said...

When my parents prepared a trip to Mexico they asked my little bro what he wanted them to bring him. He thoughtfully considered then said, "A caucasian."

Of all the places to look for one, Mexico is pretty low on the list I'd imagine.

He thought it was a kind of spider. We still joke about wanting more caucasians--though you have to be careful how you do say that :)

Karianna said...

Sadly, I cannot think of any. Our family is all about nicknaming rather than specific taglines. And so we'll say something like "Get the spup-weeobix a squeezie-whatzit to take to ni-night!"

I remember a boyfriend and I used to say "None for you!" at every occasion. When Twix came out with their "None for you... two for me!" campaign we were endlessly laughing.

Lady M said...

Long story: When people ask what the story of a movie or book was, we say, "it's a retelling of the Tortoise and the Hare."

We read an interview of the director of the "Moulin Rouge" movie, Baz Luhrman, and he said that the story was a retelling of "Orpheus in the Underworld." Uh, no. It's so clearly Boheme!

We started making up more and more ridiculous stories that Moulin Rouge could have been based on. And we ended up with Aesop.

SUEB0B said...

I am honored!

My dad's line is something I used as the tag to my blog til a few days ago: "It's always nice where I am."

Mrs. Chicken said...

When recalling the February spent at the Mayo Clinic with my dad when we learned his cancer was terminal:

"Yeah, that was the worst vacation ever."

Bones said...

In the "Brady Bunch Goes to Hawaii" trilogy, Bobby, Greg and Peter somehow get a hold of a tiki doll that brings bad luck to the bearers. In an effort to find out what to do, they visit an old Hawaiian man, who tells them they have to put it at the tomb of the kings, but it's dangerous, so they should (in horrible Brady Hawaiian accent that sounds more Haitian than Hawaiian) "nebah nebah go dere"

Now, whenever you ask directions to a place, what cupboard the peanut butter is, or if you should go see a particular movie, my father deadpans the eternal phrase "nebah nebah go dere" lest you run into Vincent Price.

radioactive girl said...

We always said "it's not a tumor" anytime it might even have been slightly appropriate. When I found out I had cancer, the doctor didn't really find it funny when that was the first thing that came out of my mouth, but we all cracked up.

radioactive girl said...

I just read the other comments and I am cracking up at them! People are so funny!

Nancy said...

We probably do have a bunch of taglines, but mostly we have a whole made-up vocabulary. I keep meaning to post about it sometime but I've been too lazy.

The other thing constantly being heard in my house is Mimi or J telling me, "Stop talking about Chika!" (Chika's my cat, and sometimes when there are lulls in conversation I will ask a question about her to get them riled up. Yes, I have no life.)

Izzy said...

We haven't watched The Simpsons in about a decade but we still do the Mr. Burns: "Excellent"

and the Homer: "Mmmm...something"

If you never watched The Simpsons, the aforementioned might not make sense.

There are many others but they would make even less sense...lol

movin'mom said...

When my oldest was a baby and I would do the peek a boo:
next step always being
I see you.........

Movin dad would ALWAYS yell from the other room....
"in...teeensive caaaaare unit"

as if i were saying peek a boo ICU

now everyone does it....it drives me crazy and yet when I hear ICU on greys anatomy I think of peek a boo.

Kate said...

I actually commented on SueBob's blog about this when she posted about her tagline.

Several yeasr ago, Dave and I weer at the Bronx Zoo, and saw a trio walking by: one plumpish boy with dried ice cream glued to his shirt, what appeared to be his more lively brother with a balloon in hand, and then what looked like their grandmother. The grandmother was trying to get the kids to do mome more stuff, when the older boy promptly replied, "We've seen the waterfowl, we've seen it all." We thought that was so funny. So whenever we're "done" with someone, we always reuse that line.

Damselfly said...

Taglines, we practically have turned them into a language all our own. When friends and acquaintances hear my husband and I speak, they often aren't sure exactly what we're talking about because we've turned movie lines, commercials and jokes into a shorthand way of expressing what we want to tell each otherl

Mrs. Wheezer said...

Our big one for when someone has goofed something up: But you did it completely wrong! (said in the same whiny tone Don Knotts used when he spoke that line in the movie 'No Time for Sergeants')

Catizhere said...

Wow. This sounds really lame after I've read all the other comments.....

"No _____ for YOU!!!" Spoken like the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld

And whenever Joe starts a new "project" in the house, he always asks, "How hard could it be?" Needless to say there are NO finished "projects" in our house.