Sunday, April 30, 2006

Mother May I

Today's post is from guest blogger Amy of Binkytown. You can find me there today!

These posts are part of our May Blog Exchange on the theme
Mother May I. Click around to read some of the other posts: Nancy, Vicki, Julie, Chase, Stacy, Christina, Jen, Mabel, TB, Mel, Izzy, Amy, and Laurie. If you’d like to participate in the June Exchange, please email Kristen at kmei26 at Enjoy!

Mother (In-law) May I...

Say that even though I’ve known you for seven years I didn’t know before today that you and your sister really wanted to go to college, but your father wouldn’t send you because you were women.

Say that I still can’t believe that when your son and I were living together and engaged to be married that you gave our phone number to one of his old serious ex-girlfriends who proceeded to call us on a Sunday afternoon before caller ID so he stood there talking to her while I was scrubbing the kitchen floor, but I’m glad I never said anything to you about that because I wanted to—but I’m pretty sure you really didn’t think there was anything odd about that.

Say I’m sorry for the way I treated you when I spent the night at your house and I put a post-it note over the picture you had hanging in your spare bedroom of my husband and someone else. I left it up intentionally so you would see it. When the photo was taken he was your son, not my husband and he was with his then-girlfriend, before he met me, but the photo was taken in your backyard that no longer exists and was probably a moment you wanted to remember. That I did that in your house embarrasses me. I was young and not yet a mother to a son. I think I get it now.

Say thank you for bringing me food the day I came home from the hospital with my baby. Even though I’m too fussy to eat chili made with hamburger it was thoughtful of you and nice for me to open up the freezer and have the illusion that I was stocked with food.

Say even though I know you would have happier if your son had married someone else, someone who wouldn’t have kept him living farther away from you than you’d like, you’ve really made an effort lately to talk to me like I’m family. I noticed.

Say that even though we show affection in different ways and varying degrees, I’m grateful that my son has a grandmother who talks to him in a sweet voice and tickles him softly all over while he lays there and smiles a big toothy smile.

Say wow. I love your son. He’s so many things and all of them good. Well done.


TB said...

Being a daughter in law isn't always easy. Thanks for reminding me that it's a give and take and that my husband's parents are sharing him with me.

mothergoosemouse said...

Great perspective. I need to keep these points in mind as well.

Nancy said...

Wow -- may I say that was a very touching post. This is the kind of perspective I need sometimes when dealing with my MIL.

J's Mommy said...

That is so sweet. I don't think I could say any of those things to my MIL. :(

motherhooduncensored said...

Wow. I love your take on this. Wish I could say the same to MIL. Most of the times it's "MIL May I tell you the STFU!" heh.

Amy said...

Thanks for the comments - Don't go thinking I'm gutsy enough to actually say these things out loud... :)

Izzy said...

I think being a daughter in law is much harder than being a son in law. That said, you are a very mature and classy lady :)