- The tree: must be live, with delicate lights and non-generic ornaments. See details.
- The outdoor decorations: must be composed of white lights and natural materials only. Nothing that requires a motor.
- The cards: must show at least some small effort beyond stuffing, licking, and stamping.
- The wish list: must contain ideas and suggestions, but not be so specific as to stifle all creativity on the part of the gift-giver.
- The cookies: Must include thumbprints with frosting. Never jelly.
- The schedule: Gifts must be opened on Christmas morning. Not Christmas Eve. Except one or two just to take the edge off.
- The stockings: Must contain an orange. What can I say? It's a rule.
- The gift-opening: Must occur in sequence from youngest opener to oldest, one gift at a time so all can be properly displayed and admired.
- The traveling: Must be of the grandparents to the grandchildren, and not the other way around.
a. Exception 1: presence of great-grandparents over the age of 85.
b. Exception 2: Hawaii.
- The menu: Must not include turkey. What do you think this is, Thanksgiving or something?
- The clothing: Must not be thematic, unless worn by a small child.
- The songs: Must be sung loudly and with gusto, preferably while seated alongside Harry Connick, Jr., at the piano.
- The weather: Must be white. Sparkly, even.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Christmas rules and regulations.
NB: I will be checking this list twice.