Sunday, July 27, 2008

Multiplication and division

It's now been two full weeks since that offending little piece of tissue was removed and my little girl is still in the hospital. She had to have another surgical procedure on Friday, round two of ridding her body of the infectious gunk that is so firmly lodged in her gut. So far, she seems to be responding well, and we'll know more tomorrow. Who knows? Maybe she'll even get to come home.

When we got home from San Francisco last Sunday night, I stayed up until 2 a.m. completing a freelance job that had to be in by 8:30 that Monday morning. After I mailed it off, I stared at my bedroom ceiling for another hour fretting about everything on my long to-do list, from unpacking to catching up on work to Full Mommy reviews to weeding my overgrown flower beds.

Needless to say, another week has evaporated and I've done almost none of those things that were so important they kept me up that night. In the hospital, I have wireless but I don't have any ability to concentrate. If it isn't the worry (are 5 CT scans too many for a 40-pound, 6-year-old child? How much longer can this possibly go on?), it's the endless Disney Channel loop, or the nurse coming in or out, or the entreaties to take just one more sip of Gatorade.

These days, more than ever, I feel like every minute spent doing one critical task is a minute stolen from some other equally critical task. Time playing with Opie (an absolute trouper during this whole ordeal, I must note) is time away from Jo's bedside. Fifteen minutes answering work e-mail is 15 minutes not finding something nutritious for us all to eat. A half-hour sleeping is a half-hour not blogging (aka taking time for myself).

This has been the longest and shortest month of my life. Wake me when it's over.

17 comments:

mothergoosemouse said...

Would Jo appreciate a note from her buddy Tacy, or would that make her sad?

I wish there was something concrete I could do. If you think of something, don't hesitate to ask. I'm all yours.

Lady M said...

I wish I could be there too, entertaining Opie with a drum buddy so that you had one less thing to think about. Our good wishes are with you. Hang in there.

Leeanthro said...

Wish I could do something to help (either of you). I hope she's on the mend.

JGH said...

I'm so sorry to hear this! I know how all-consuming it can be to have a family member in the hospital. Sending you some healing thoughts and hugs.
Jenny

Mandy said...

I was just going to email you to see how things were going.

I wish that there was something I could do long distance to help. The scariest thing in the world is a sick child. But it sounds like she is in good hands.

Remember to take care of yourself too.

Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

Ugh, this is terrible -- I can't believe she's still in the hospital!

Times like this I always look for *my* mommy.

nonlineargirl said...

I can not imagine what this has been like for you and your family. Whatever you need to do to get everyone through it seems like the right thing, even if that means sleeping.

justmylife said...

Wish there was something I could do, but this is all I got....You and your family are in my prayers!

hip mom's guide said...

I'm so sorry that this ordeal is still going on. Poor Jo. When she gets older, you'll have to treat her (and you) to a super San Fran vacation or she might permanently associate it with that awful hospital smell! Hope she's healthy and home in a flash.

Tracey said...

You HAVE been busy!! Glad she's healing, albeit slowly... Hope it speeds up soon!

jen said...

babe, i keep thinking of you...i too wish there was something more i could do.

roo said...

I'm so sorry. A second surgery?
Poor little girl.
Poor mama, too.

But at least things are moving in the right direction.
She'll get better,
and you'll get your mind back.

I wish you all well.

Kimberly said...

Poor baby and poor you. What an ordeal you've all been through.

Don't feel guilty about sleeping or taking care of your family. We'll all be here when life is back to normal for you.

Karianna said...

So, so sorry. Ugh. Hope you can get some sleep sometime soon, and that Jo recovers quickly.

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

Cripes, I am catching up on my reader and feeling like an ass for not knowing this was going on. I am soooo thinking of you guys.... xoxoxox

Kate said...

Oh boy, sounds like yo are going through a real difficult time. I'm so sorry to hear all that. ((hugs)) from Ohio.

Amanda said...

So sorry. If I can offer one thing it is this, do not let the guilt over what you are not doing hurt you. You are doing the best you can in each moment and as much as you might be aware that something else is not being done, other people are seeing it differently. Be tender to yourself!