Monday, October 29, 2007

Gimme a merit badge in "grumpy"

Mama Merit Badges: Click to check them out My child has been a school-ager for all of 7 weeks now and I have decided I hate enrichment activities. I hate gymnastics because it is too far away and there is nowhere to wait safely and sanely with a 2-year-old in tow. I usually flee to Wal-Hell (to borrow Jamie's term) and that should give you an idea of how awful it is to stay at the gym.

I hate swimming because of the changing into suits/changing back to clothes, the grungy showers, the (again) dealing with the toddler in the locker room.

I hate soccer because I had to sign up two weeks ago (and pay $85) for a season that starts next May. And I had to pay an extra $25 so I wouldn't have to be an assistant coach or some other ill-defined volunteer job that I have no interest in or time for.

I hate dance because of the inappropriate songs and costumes (Chicago's "All That Jazz" for 4-year-olds, anyone?).

I hate music because my son opts to stand in the corner, crawl under the table, or throw things and I'm left scraping sandpaper all by myself.

I do like Sunday school. It amounts to free babysitting and there are doughnuts after.

Tell me it gets better when the kids get older, and I just sit in the car with a book while they're off somersaulting or playing the French horn or whatever.



Suzanne said...

I'm with you on the swimming. I hate the locker rooms -- I'm always screeching, "Don't touch that!" and "Ack! Put your flip-flops on!" and other assorted germaphobe-related directives.

Kellan said...

This was hysterical! And I agree with all of it. And ... it only gets worse (sorry). "I do like Sunday school. It amounts to free babysitting and there are doughnuts after." - this was soooo funny! See ya.

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

Oh my. If you are taking refuge at Wal-Hell? Then we may have to arrange for a "Just Say No to Extracurricular Activities Intervention!!" ;)

Patois said...

It does get better, but it's many, many, many years from now. Sorry. But I did enjoy laughing at your sorrow. Sorry about that, too.

Magpie said...

I'm not there yet, but based on your post - I don't want to be!!!

I think I'll lock her in the basement with some paints and call it extracurricular.

Julie Pippert said...


(crickets chirping)

I cannot tell a lie.

I can, however, empathize!!

Using My Words

mothergoosemouse said...

Swimming is tolerable because Tacy really enjoys it, and on the one day per week that CJ comes along, she usually behaves - even in the locker room (where she shuts herself in a locker, much to the amusement of everyone else).

The rest of it - bah. But you've reminded me to check on registration for spring soccer. Apparently the process for gaining entry is similar to that of Manhattan pre-schools.

TB said...

It's a little different, but I kind of know what you're going through. We just started water babies swim lessons which means I have to be in the pool with Myles. Fine while we're there, but when we're in the busy locker room, where do I put him? I can't even think about showering. And when he starts moving it just gets worse.

Lady M said...

Ug, not looking forward to locker rooms either. "All That Jazz" for 4 year old kids? Age-appropriate dances are a big pet peeve for me. Our local studio is pretty good. The little ones are monkeys in jungles or cowgirls in nice cute outfits. I wish more studios didn't go for the mini-sluts!

Nancy said...

I signed Mimi up for an art class -- Abrakadoodle -- where I can drop her off and she learns about an artist for 45 minutes. The site is 5 minutes from the big shopping mall in NoVa, so it's a win-win for all of us!

TC said...

I could tell you that it gets better, but I'd be lying. Because by the time she can change by herself in the kids' locker room, the little one is ready for his OWN slew of activities. So you're off and running at TWICE the pace by then.

Not that I'm bitter and angry and hating my life right now or anything.

Off to ferry some kid somewhere...

Binkytown said...

I don't know this for a fact, Im not there yet, but I firmly believe it HAS to get better.

It does get better, right?

movin'mom said...

Well, just wait until you have to CHOOSE betwen children.
There's football, wrestling, orientations on the SAME NIGHT at 3 different schools, homecoming photos at two different homes at teh same time, field trips (same days) halloween parties (I can remember racing from the 5th grade classroom upstairs to the 3rd grade classroom across the building and then back to the lower level for the kindergarten party all the while pushing my youngest in his stroller.
So I would have to say gets better,,,,,,when your watching your kids have to do it with their own, but by then you will have to choose who's school your going to for grandparents day ;)

Mocha said...

You really need TWO activity places for each child because while one does one activity the other one is famously bored and whiny and it amounts to NO FUN AT ALL for you.

Yep. It gets better. You drive less because they drive more.

I change my mind.

You get manic when they start to drive.

I honestly started out trying to be encouraging.

SUEB0B said...

Holy cats. Just let them run around outside. That worked for kids for 99.99 percent of human history. What is wrong with it now?

Gunfighter said...

"I do like Sunday school. It amounts to free babysitting and there are doughnuts after."

I see enough of THAT from the parents of the kids I teach... some of these idiot parents actually send their kids to Sunday School with big sticky donuts in their hands... which Mr Gunfighter propmtly makes them throw away. God forbid the little so-and-so's actually learn something.