Who's the mouthiest of them all?

I've been awake since before 7 a.m. It is now past 11 a.m. and I have yet to sit down to actually do any work. I've been ferrying children to school and also ferrying misplaced stuff all over my house--today was biweekly Declutter Day. Yes, it took almost two hours to move all the upstairs stuff back upstairs and the downstairs stuff back downstairs and the basement stuff back to the basement.

I wonder what the mystery ladies behind The Mouthy Housewives would have to say about that? I may have to click over there and ask for their advice. If I can handle the mouthy truth.

Hey, sister, soul sister

Thank you, Heather!

Donors Choose (to continue making me weep)

Remember when I donated to Donors Choose? Yesterday I got a packet of thank-you notes from the kids who received the scissors and tape. Some excerpts:

"So, thank you again for the scissors and tape just remember it helped a lot. Sincerely, Mike"

"You know what, I was the one who came up with the name 'cut into education' that was cool wasn't it. Thanks again. Sincerely, Kenny"

"We really appreciate the scissors that you sent. Before, when we were doing a project last year in seventh grade, we had the worst scissors. (I mean that in a bad way) They coudn't cut for anything and they always got caught in the paper. This letter is to tell you thank you for the scissors and tape. Sincerely, Khalil"

"The scissors helped a lot because we had these crappy ones and they didn't even cut. And the tape, we didn't even have any, but you gave us some and now we use it for a lot of stuff. Every time I see them I think of you and I say thanks in my head. Sincerely, Sean"

Thank YOU for reading because every page view helped fund that project.

And if you are still feeling charitable: My sister is running a marathon through Team in Training. She only needs $850 more to reach her goal of $3800. If the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society is a group you'd like to support, consider throwing a few bucks my sister's way. She would appreciate it!

I love your blog!

The news is all GLOOM! DOOM! World! Ending!

And yes--pretty much true. But let's put that aside for a moment and talk about the fact that Kimberly loves my blog. So, happy thoughts! Thank you, Kimberly.

And now I get to say which blogs I love. Which seven blogs I love, which as you can imagine is not really possible. Seventy-seven, I could do.

So here are the most recent additions to my reader, because if they've earned a spot there then I must love them. (And if you're not listed, that just means I already loved you.)

Dirt & Noise. A few good rants about Sarah Palin and I was sold.

It's Lovely! I'll Take It! Click over there. You will not regret it.

Motherhood in NYC. Marinka? Is very funny.

Nyack Backyard. Vicarious gardening!

Total Mom Haircut. She taught Martha Stewart a thing or two about blogging.

The Wink. I know, everyone already knows about Amanda, apparently except me.

And my 7th spot (since I always have to find a way to cheat on every meme) goes to all the mom bloggers participating in the Donors Choose 2008 Blogger Challenge. Thanks for supporting such a great cause!

Fine print:

• You can put the award picture on your blog.
• Link to the person who awarded you.
• Nominate at least seven other blogs that you love.
• Put up links to those blogs.
• Leave messages with the blogs you nominated.

Well, it IS a series of tubes ...

Today at the playground Opie hopped onto the sand digger and announced: "I'm makin' a website!"

Well! So am I. My new site is live and I'd love for you to take a look: I am the new Family Fitness Guide at About.com. I'll be blogging there a couple of times a week and posting new articles at least once a week. I would love any and all visits and feedback!

I've had quite a spotty relationship with fitness over the years, so the irony of this is not lost on me. As a kid I was a skinny (one might even say "scrawny" or "weak") bookworm. It wasn't until I tried yoga in my late 20s that I realized I could actually enjoy exercise. For the first time I loved working hard and really sweating (this was bikram yoga--everyone would be literally standing in a pool of perspiration by the end of the 90-minute class). I loved seeing those incremental improvements, being able to balance for just a tiny bit longer or reach my nose just a little closer to my knee or twist my spine just that much more. Then I got pregnant and was too sick and tired to get up early and sweat. Then I had a baby and couldn't make a two-hour commitment more than once every six months. Then I moved to Mayberry and there's no Bikram here.

Still, I took a (non-Bikram) yoga class this morning, in honor of my new (and reduced) work schedule and my new status as Fitness Advocate.

It felt really, really good. Almost as good as digging a really good hole and finding a brand-new website at the bottom.

*

Also in honor of my new site, a wee giveaway: If you can find the photo of my kid and another blogger's on the site, email me--mayberrymom2006 @ yahoo--and tell me where it is. First person to get it right gets my copy of Sleep Is for the Weak. (I'll buy myself a new one when I go to a signing.)

Almost famous

Thanks to my dealer Jenny for hooking me on Photofunia, an addictive toy perfect for Photo Week.

Wordy

Via Wordle (click on it to see it bigger), which I found via Mimilou.

This is an image derived from the RSS feed of my blog. How perfect is it that "child" appears right in the middle, connected to words like "love" and "thought" and "nasty" and "normal" and "responsible" and, of course, "sucked"?

*

Today's PSA:

Hoard is not the same as horde.

Chic is not the same as chick.

Pore is not the same as pour.

*

Words that sound better with a British accent:

controversy
aluminum
whilst

*

I'm finally a-Twitter. I'm afraid this is a slippery slope which inevitably leads to me neeeeeeding an iPhone.

My new summer cocktail

The one thing about enduring the neverending winter around here is that when summer comes, it's goooood. Clear, sunny, warm but not too hot, very rarely humid. So we just want to be outside and celebrate every minute.

At book club the other night my friend Theresa introduced me to what's going to become my signature summer drink. We were sitting outside at a waterfront restaurant which got me in the mood to order a gin and tonic. But Theresa showed me the light: the gin press. Ahh! Lighter, sweeter, and très refreshing.

Then, just to prove what a good friend she is, when I appealed to her the next day after I couldn't find a recipe online, she found me a video of a cute bartender doing a demo. The trick is that the drink is more commonly made with vodka.

Cheers!

Edited to remove embedded video -- sorry, that was annoying the way it played automatically.

20 lousy pairs of scissors

Last fall I promised to take my BlogHer ads earnings for the academic year and donate them to a teacher through DonorsChoose. So it's time for me to report back on the teacher I chose.

I searched the DonorsChoose site for projects in New Jersey (where my kids would have attended public schools if we hadn't pulled up stakes and moved to Mayberry) in the amount I had to give. It's not a lot, but that's the idea behind DonorsChoose--individual donors supporting individual teachers in small efforts that make a big difference to students.

Possibilities included:

• We have over 100 books in our classroom library. Unfortunately, we do not have a place to display those books. They are currently sitting in crates and boxes and my students have to sift through them to find the book or dictionary that they need. This is time consuming as well as damaging to the books.
  
  
• My classroom is extremely noisy due to the old chairs squeaking on the floor. I've tried to minimize the noise by cutting up tennis balls and placing them on the feet of the old chairs, but it isn't solving the problem. My students already have a disability in that they have difficulty processing oral language, and the noise just adds to this problem. I need a large carpet which would reduce noise and make a more conducive learning environment.
  
  
• My kindergarten class is filled with 25 eager and excited learners! However, during literacy centers, their enthusiasm is starting to fade because of the lack of interactive materials that are available. I want to create a center where students can use a multi-sensory approach to phonics practice. At this center, my students would have fine-motor practice by rolling play dough into a thin layer. The children will then use uppercase and lowercase letter molds/cookie cutters to punch out letters to complete different tasks.
  
  
• Our school started a wonderful reading program for students at home. We supply the books and the students read at home every night. However, it is becoming harder to supply the students with enough materials on their reading level. My students love to read and read at least 1-5 chapters per night. They are reading through all the books in our classroom.

In the end I decided to fund a project for Mrs. C's classroom of 6th to 8th graders with special needs:

Since the first day of school this year my students have been complaining about
my canister full of ancient scissors. They are constantly asking to borrow the
"teacher scissors" which have mysteriously disappeared on more than one
occasion. If we had a class set of "teacher scissors" my students would be able
to really create the masterpieces I know they are capable of creating. We would
also love some tape to proudly display our work outside of the classroom.

Can you believe that? Scissors and tape. It's so simple that I want to cry. I'm not going to get into the politics of education reform and funding, but can we all stop and think for a minute how ridiculous it is that a teacher has to beg for basic supplies like these?

Updated to add: My teacher already sent a lovely thank-you note this morning (Tuesday):

You would not believe how excited I was today when I opened my email and
found that my Scissors That Slice proposal had been funded. Even though it is
summer break I will see a few of my students at our Summer Book Club in a few
days and I will be able to share the good news. The students will be ecstatic to
hear that we are getting new supplies, just for us! Before school ended we would
check the Donors Choose website at the beginning of each day to see if anyone
else had sponsored us! I can't wait until next fall to work with my students to
make beautiful projects with our new scissors and tape! Thank you so much for
your kindness and generosity! We really do appreciate it!

Updated to add again:

Pretty pictures (and they're not even of my kids)

I've seen this a few places, most recently at Magpie's, and loved the results.

To make your own, answer these questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. What is one word that describes you?
12. What is your Flickr name?

Type your answer to each of the questions into Flickr search.

Using only the first page of results, pick one image.

Copy and paste URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab's Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.

Details & credits on mine:
1. St Catherine's - Abbotsbury, Dorset, 2. extra cheesy salami and mushroom pizza:), 3. Little Artist, 4. llibreria - bookstore - Amsterdam, 5. Paul Rudd - Bowery Ballroom, NYC - February 4th, 2008 - Pic 3, 6. 1/3 parts Pimm's cup + 2/3 parts bokeh =, 7. Balcony with a view at Tsagaralono (3 km from Fidakia, Evritania, Central Greece), 8. My Personal "Russian" Doll (Matrioshka), 9. Patterns..., 10. Cup o' kids, 11. i can taste summer! a.k.a. childhood summer! a.k.a. childhood reminiscence! a.k.a. those were the good times!, 12. Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio?

Hey, Sunday song

For no reason at all except that I looooove this...

My kids' art: Let me show you it

Love your mother
Originally uploaded by mayberrymom

I love kids' art -- I've found ways to post several pieces here already. But it's not just my own children's stuff I love. Lo these many years ago when Jeff and I first started dating, we went to a bar in the West Village one Halloween. They were having an auction of kids' paintings to benefit some cause. We were crushed when the bidding got too rich and we had to leave some our favorite pictures behind.

Now the tables have turned and I'm offering some of my children's prizewinning works for a good cause: the Kid Art Auction for Earth Day 2008.

Clickety the button to find out how it works.

This meme brought to you by Pre-Vacation Panic Week

**Updated below with hints

I am going out of town next week with the small ones (and no husband, lord give me strength). Therefore this week, am racing around like a hamster who just drank a couple of Red Bulls. Yay vacation, but the week before and the week after suck.

So this meme I saw at Lara's is just what I need tonight. Escapist, easy, requires audience participation.

1. Pick 15 of your favorite movies (this shall not be regarded as the definitive list of my favorite movies -- but I do love them all).
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Strike out each quote when someone guesses correctly in the comments, and note who correctly identified the film.
5. NO Googling or using IMDb search functions (you're on the honor system here).

Here goes. I'll start you off with an easy one.

HINTS: Of the remaining films, one is a documentary, one is British, and one features a soundtrack that I've mentioned previously here on ye olde blog. Go to it!

1. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. Lady M, surely a Princess Bride in her day, gets this one.

2. I'll be typing for England!

3. Also, you'll find a pair of safety glasses and some earplugs under your seats. Please feel free to use them.

4. I don't want to play the gender card right now. You want to play a card, let's play the "let's not die" card. mothergoosemouse had no trouble Finding Nemo.

5. Well, I would say that I'm just drifting. Here in the pool. Magpie's been musing since long before she was a Graduate.

6. Then after about 15 minutes, you're spit out into a ditch on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike! Jennifer tells us that living under the ponderosas is nothing like Being John Malkovich.

7. A pot. A pot belly. Pot bellies are sexy. Everything I know about Teresa is pure Pulp Fiction.

8. Ladies and gentlemen, when you look at this gorgeous couple, it's no wonder they're a household name all over the world like... bacon and eggs. Dancer Lara gets this one--I'm sure she's done her share of Singin' in the Rain.

9. Nobody said it. This time it's all me. Life isn't like in the movies. Life... is much harder. Call 911! A child is born at the Cinema Paradiso!

10. I'm not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work, there, Lou. Heather knows that the zebras in Fargo are probably cool.

11. I really love Rudy. He is totally enamored of me. I mean, I've had other men love me before, but not for six months in a row. Even for young Lara, Sixteen Candles are no longer enough.

12. No! I'm madly in love with you and it's not because of your brains or your personality. Maggie is the Little Miss Sunshine in Cat's so-called life.

13. We are so lucky. We are so lucky to have been raised amongst catalogs. There's no doubt that mothergoosemouse is one of the Best in Show.

14. Harry, there's enough C-4 on this thing to put a hole in the world! Once again, Lara is the Speed-iest one to get the answer.

15. I don't think it really helped me, in my love live; my nascent love life. I think that having won something like that could be regarded as being a significant liability.

A Ferb-ily family tradition

I'm not sure how this started but we seem to have created a new evening ritual. Every night after the kids are fed, (occasionally) bathed, and PJ'd, we all snuggle in together to watch "Phineas and Ferb." It's on at 7 in our time zone and is less than 15 minutes long so it's the perfect last little thing to do before bed. The kids think it is a big treat to have the TV on after dinner and all four of us find the show hilarious. It's a testament to how a bit of structure encourages creativity, too; there are recurring themes, plot points, and even dialogue in every episode, yet each one is clever and funny.



All day long now we sing this song and imitate the villian, Doofenschmirtz, saying "Ah... Perry the Platypus!" Both kids can do a dead-on impression.

So that makes me smile. And so does Magpie, who gave me a You Make Me Smile award. Awww! Thanks M. I could pass this along to dozens of you, but I single out Lady M for her astonishing ability to post cheerfully every single day; and Christina and Jennifer for Haiku Friday. I love playing along--and reading--as often as I can.

Hoot w00t!

An embarrassingly long time ago, the lovely G. from so, what do you do all day? bestowed me with this cute guy. The fine print reads "for esteemed blog mentors and the otherwise inspirational." Moi? Thank you!

Now, to pass it along. I'm sure you've heard this from me ad nauseam, but I'm sure I never would've started blogging without my good friend Julie to hold my hand.

All of my fellow Full Mommies -- Amy, Binky, Jodi, Lady M., Lara, Leighann, Mona, Mrs. Chicken, and Tammie -- have inspired me in one way or another (or several) as we collaborate on that project. To be frank, I started that blog because I needed a place to stash my reviews, and invited others to join me so I wouldn't be lonely. But they've done so much more than keep me company. Thanks, all.

But never, not ever, in a bathroom

My nursing days ended--most likely for good--over a year ago, so I can't participate in today's Great Virtual Breast Fest (brainchild of the League of Maternal Justice). But if you can't see me nursing, perhaps some of these other absolutely beautiful babies and mamas?



I breastfed for a total of 32 months (holy cow) and guess what? I occasionally left my home, with my babies during that nearly three-year period. That means I have nursed:

• on airplanes and in airports
• on busses
• in (parked) cars
• in dozens of restaurants
• in stores and shopping malls
• in Central Park
• in many other parks
• in my boss's office (during a meeting)
• in my own office (sometimes with baby, sometimes with pump)
• at the hair salon and the dentist's
• during a pelvic exam (I wish I were kidding)
• at church
• in front of my dad, my brother, my uncle, my brother-in-law, and my mother-in-law's "gentleman friend"

I only wish I had some photographic evidence to stick in Facebook's eye. Well, maybe not from that time during the pelvic.

Beer, breastmilk -- whatever gets you through the night

Yesterday I opened up my fantasy football scoreboard to see if my come-from-behind victory was proceeding as planned. Indeed it was, but that's not what made me do a doubletake.


So if the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services and the Ad Council think that a sports website -- with a beer sponsorship, no less -- is a good place for an ad encouraging breastfeeding, what is Facebook's problem? Or Bill Maher's?

I've read many eloquent posts on the subject of what an idiot Maher is and how ridiculous Facebook is, and I completely agree with them. So I'm not going to add anything else except this little Moment of Zen from the world of sports.

And, no comments from the peanut gallery (ahemKyleahem) about my crappy team. It may have been an ugly win, but it was a win.

I'm a schmoozer baby, so why don't you link me

So I never did score one of those Thinking Blogger awards, but I did get two even better ones recently. First, Lady M says I'm a schmoozer (which I like to think means I'm a good bloggy neighbor) and Lara says I'm just plain nice. Big kisses to these two dancing girls for singling me out--I am honored! And celebrating these awards by passing them on sounds like the perfect way to kick off the week ahead.

First, the schmooze, a meme which originated with this post defining a good schmoozer as someone who effortlessly weaves [her] way in and out of the blogosphere, leaving friendly comments, happily making new friends along the way. I am sure that some of these picks are repeats, but I'm going to award the pretty ba-loooo (as Opie says) button to the following:

Jenny, of The Bloggess and Mama Drama: Besides being knock-'em-dead hilarious, Jenny has one of the biggest hearts in the blogosphere.

Magpie: The best cure for NYC-homesickness and a wise and frequent commenter (here and everywhere).

Scribbit: Michelle is always ready to spread cheer through comments, links, and even weekly giveaways.

Second, the nice, which is for those bloggers who are nice people and good blog friends--those who bring good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world.

Movin' Mom: For sharing the real scoop on raising teenagers--leaving me not only scared, but also inspired by her example.

Mom Ma'am Me: For her actions in both the real and bloggy worlds--just read a few posts and you'll see why.

L.A. Daddy: Because once I idly asked him a question in a comment and he responded with a truckload of useful information (useful for my next life as a pirate). He may be a biker dude but he's a nice one.

Jen of one plus two: For her Just Posts and for the way she's opened my eyes about homelessness and just being an all-around good egg.

Grace of so, what do you do all day?: For having a genius blog title and tagline, for throwing a kick-ass party in the midst of a stomach virus, and for saying she'd read my blog upon meeting me at BlogHer.

LetterB: For being the brains behind Momku which I think is just so fun and cool (and I am sorry that it's too late at night at the end of a long weekend for me to describe it so lazily). I still stand by my thoughts on Twitter, but Momku is an inspired use of the medium.

No picture's please

Big fat smooches to the person who came up with this: Atrocious Apostrophe's.

Via Mamapop.

Lucky bum

Overheard from the bike trailer/peanut gallery: "[giggle] I see Mommy's bumper*! [giggle, giggle]"

Opie, trying to push past the barricade I have created with my rear end to prevent him from exiting a restaurant booth: "Cuze me. Cuuuze me. Cuze me bumper!"

*

Today was one of those "I really lucked out with this job" days. I spent most of it surfing the "kidlitosphere," blogs by teachers, librarians, journalists, and other miscellaneous lovers of children's books. I'm working my way down through this blogroll and -- wow.

Next up: Crafty moms. Not so much the ones that rock the grownup crafts, like Supa (she knits! she sews! she paints! she gestates!), but the ones who have clever ideas for kiddie projects.

If you have any faves in either category, I'd love to hear about them. Also any ways to remove tomato-soup stains. I have done the Shout-soak-wash-repeat cycle on one of Jo's dresses at least 10 times and it's still hanging on. If I can't get it out the dress is fit only for the costume box.

*Daycare-speak for derrière.