When toddlers attack

JO'S ROOM (AP) -- The Doll family is still reeling from an attack Tuesday that left their house in shambles and their children terrified.

"It was a giant... BABY," said Mrs. Doll, still shaken up from the incident, in which her foot was accidentally severed (it was later reattached by orthopedic surgeon Dr. MayberryMom, who used state-of-the-art Scotch tape to perform the operation). "We were just sitting there watching our cowboys-n-Indians show (I mean that's all we ever watch) when all of a sudden, the thing started grabbing all our stuff and just tossing it everywhere," said Mr. Doll.

"It's bad enough that the only bathroom in the house is on the third floor, and there are no stairs to get up there," said Mrs. Doll. "But now the toilet's in a completely different room and has been broken in half."

The family noted with relief that most of the rest of their possessions remain intact, although they are strewn throughout the house. However, the refrigerator has been completely emptied and the family cat has not been seen since the incident.