Thursday, February 19, 2009

The potty problem

For the record, the following do not motivate my son to use the toilet:
  • Effusive praise
  • Moderate praise
  • Barely perceptible praise
  • Threats of violence (no, of course not)
  • Candy
  • Stickers
  • Toys
  • Money
  • A kid-sized potty
  • A kid-sized potty seat insert
  • Just a regular potty like we all use
  • Choosing and buying his own underwear
  • Being allowed to wear underwear
  • Not being allowed to wear underwear
  • Wearing soaking wet underwear
  • Being one of the only kids in his class not in underwear

I started off very laidback. But the kid is going to be FOUR in six weeks. What the hell?

17 comments:

beth - total mom haircut said...

Thank you! Thankyouthankyouthankyou. Sam will be four in May and we are right there with you. While I'm sad for you, I'm have to admit I'm happy that I'm not alone. What the hell indeed?

JGH said...

I thought of one more... videos? We had "Potty Time". Then when my son was in preschool, one of his pre-k teachers was very influential. One of the main reasons he trained was because he wanted to please her. Maybe there is some other adult (besides you) that he'd like to impress. Did you talk to the ped? Good luck - I'm sure he'll get there. Remember that dumb T. Berry Brazelton commercial? ..."it's his decision. No one else's" Easy for him to say!

Mandy said...

We did most of the above with nate... but he was turning 3 at the time.

I feel for you! I wish I had a new idea.

Mayberry said...

JGH - yes, I forgot to say that we have the full library of videos, books, trading cards (really), etc.

Sigh. But you're right about talking to ped. Will do @ 4-yr check-up (barring a MIRACLE before then).

Christina said...

Cordy will be four and a half next month, and still isn't potty trained. But we've made progress in this past month. We found out what she really, really wanted and bribed her with it.

For her, it's baking. If she keeps her underwear dry, she gets to bake something at the end of the day. (Cookies, brownies, muffins, etc.)

And we also made her try going to the bathroom every 15 minutes at first, then backed it off to 30 minutes once she started to get the hang of it. Potty training sucks.

Kate said...

Yeah we're knee deep in potty training, too. And I've got no advice. I have total amnesia on how we trained out first son.

Lady M said...

We got the Potty Power DVD, which had the effect of driving my husband and me CRAZY, while teaching annoying jingles for Q-ster to sing about how FUN it was to use the potty, while wetting his diaper instead. Sigh.

Good luck!

Nahgiel said...

I thought my son (21) would NEVER train. I tried all the things you did to no avail. It just took a lot of patience and a lot of time. Seriously, I was afraid that he wouldn't be able to start kindergarten because he wasn't fully trained! I have not great words or suggestions, just know you will make it through it!

Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

My daughter's been potty-trained for 2 years, but about once a month she pees on the floor. Yesterday she peed on the floor at the STORE.

?!

the mama bird diaries said...

I don't have any great tips for you. Hang in there. But I promise you, by the time you marry him off, he'll be potty trained. Or if not, it will be his wife's problem.

jodifur said...

a million trip to disney and the disney cruise worked for my kid. Good luck!

TB said...

Oh man. I don't even want to think about this. Myles is actually peeing in the potty (he asks, I don't initiate) but I don't want to push it and make him do it too soon. The whole thought of potty training a boy seems like such a daunting task. And I've looked at a couple of kids books on the subject and they are awful. I can't imagine what the dvds are like.
And obviously Opie knows what to do, he just doesn't want to, which I'm sure is uber frustrating and hearing "he'll do it when he's ready" probably drives you nuts too.

Bon said...

Oscar just doesn't want to. i can't decide if i'm grateful to know he's normal, or despairing to realize he could be like this for another year yet.

nonlineargirl said...

This is one of my biggest stressers right now. Ada refuses to use the toilet at all. Ever. Since December we have put her in charge of her own clean up - from taking her clothes off, wiping herself off (yup, even if it is poop and is all over her legs, etc), putting the soiled clothes in a plastic bag, taking them to the washer (and washing out poopy underwear in the toilet before they go in the washer), washing her hands and getting dressed.

The theory (we consulted a social worker out of our desperation) was that this would be such a pain that she'd decide the potty was better. Turns out it doesn't bother her so much. On the up side, I am not wiping her butt. Down side - a bowel movement takes a long time to clean up.

So far she is happy to do things herself, and even when we talk about how it is too bad that she's missing out on this or that because cleaning up took so long (oh, no time for books before bed etc, too bad...etc) she still doesn't seem to care. She has thoroughly (and of her own volition) potty trained her stuffed animals, dolls, etc.

This makes me cry a lot. And it makes me very angry, which is not so great for the loving parenting.

Jerri Ann said...

My son was 4 last November, he hasn't responded to any technique out there. Finally, this week, we are headed to have him evaluated. I have been to see the therapist and filled them in with all the information and on Thursday he see's the child psychiatrist.

Right now, we have a pair of superman underwear on top of our fridge with nothing but dust bunnies on it. They were put there last year to taunt him...they only taunt me....

There's a bag of his favorite candy, he is told, one piece of candy for every time he sits on the potty and he gets the whole bowl after dinner. That was last November...he has not one piece of candy out of the bag yet....the only person it taunts is me......

I owned a daycare and everyone I hired for a year said, "I've potty trained X amount of kids, I can potty train him" and then they return 3 months later saying, "Have you considered taking him to the doctor?"

We let him wear wet clothes once, he went down to 5 pair of soaking pairs of socks.......

We changed him as soon as we noticed he was wet one day, he wore 9 outfits......

We bought him a potty, we gave it away, we bought him another one, he uses it as a step stool....

I'm at my wits end.....ugh!

So, yea, I totally feel you!

vincent said...

I have never had to potty train a boy, so maybe it is different. I was just really lucky with my little girl, but I admit she was just maybe close to 4. I did not even bother her. I introduced the idea to her that maybe not peeing/pooping in your pants may be a cool thing, then I just let her lead the way... One day- no more diapers please! She has done great now at 5 on the self leading reading and shoe tying things too... Good luck...

kristin at prairiedaze.com said...

my daughter too.

now she's 11(!!!!!!!) and not wetting herself.


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